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Poster: latebutdeadicated Date: Sep 19, 2007 5:30am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: I need help with a limerick

"There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go..........
__________________________
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hey joe, just take this in stride.

and joe, stealz is right, if your tone was less combative you might find that this forum is full of very bright folks with a good bit of music knowledge to share.

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Poster: William Tell Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:05am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go
While posting his thread
He fell out of his bed
Good thing he had hold of his head

Dire Wolf was around
This was his hallowed ground
His posts once too were quite daring
Filled with cursing and swearing
Good thing Joe landed on this hound

The chap named Some Hollow
Was aghast at the two in their wallow
While Noise taped with his Teac
To provide the soundtrack
He smiled as he hit "playback"



NO OFFENSE, folks!

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Poster: robthewordsmith Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:59am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Just hand me my crossbow said Tell
This forum’s been going to hell
I arrived far too late
To enjoy 68
But a good 69’s fun as well…

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:48am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

There once a prick named Rob
At all the young boys he would throb
He claimed to be a Scot
I find him to be a preverted old sot
And throw him a bone he will bob

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Poster: robthewordsmith Date: Sep 19, 2007 10:00am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Oh look here comes average Joe Troll
Pulling limericks out of his hole
Not the one in the ground
But the one that is found
Where Daddy Troll slides in his pole

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 10:38am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Now that one was funny!!!
I am pretty sure I can't top that one. We'll give it a go though won't.

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Sep 19, 2007 10:16am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

OK, I think you just topped yourself.

Anytime you can work in a Troll and his incestuous family is tremendous.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Sep 19, 2007 10:07am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

lmao!!!!!

that was just wrong :)

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 11:36am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Poor Rob was ugly as a dog
But he stole Dire's girlfriend the hog
So happy he was to be makin bacon
Even though the orgasms the pig was fakin
Rob was just happy to be gettin some
He didn't care when he found out it was his Mum.

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Poster: robthewordsmith Date: Sep 19, 2007 12:15pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Somewhat below average Joe
There’s one thing I think you should know
A rhyme scheme and lines five
Brings a limerick alive
But your's shows a mind that is slow

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 12:28pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

It shows that I don't know what a limmerick is, I always thought they started with "there was a man from nantucket." Besides this has been fun. I hope you're not taking it to seriously.
And it is a lot easier to make these up about just one person. I'm having to come up with five different people here. And I'm making them up about myself also.

So just hang loose cod-piece face.

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Poster: mneeson51 Date: Sep 19, 2007 12:38pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

that,s not a limerick, thats a rap-erick. Get it?
As the other guy said, a limerick goes like this
"There once was a girl from Nantucket
Who put all of her things in a bucket
The bucket it got stole
But nobody did she tole
Instead she just yelled, "Oh fuck it""

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Poster: robthewordsmith Date: Sep 19, 2007 12:34pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Hey Joe, where you going with that limerick in your hand...

Man - I've been having more fun here today than I've had in a long time. I'd like to think you are too. The more you have to play with the better it is (speaking in terms of subject matter of course).

And I always like to keep the codpiece loose and ready for action.

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 12:46pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Hey Joe, where you going with that limerick in your hand...

I think mneeson51 is right about the rap-erick. I think it's Flavor Flav.
"Two peas in a bucket, mother fuck fuck-it." Man I can't get enough of that Rythmic African Poetry.

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:26am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

There once was a Scotsman named Rob
Who some would say is a snob
But it cannot be said it's his fault
He's plastered on a fine Single Malt
And for this he cannot find a job

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:45am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

There once was a Scotsman named Rob
Who some would say is a snob
But I'd call him a bitch
Oh the places he'd itch
With his worn out corn cobb.

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:48am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Meter, my friend, stick to the meter.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:57am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Ive heard there's this fellow called Highflow
Who is said can give quite a good blow
He learned it from JOTS
Who'se practised quite lots
On whom, i really dont know



(sorry you two - just needed a couple of new names)

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 10:42am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

There once was a fellow named Dire
The ladies thought he was a liar
So he had sex with a guy named Biff
You happened to give him the syph
Now his pecker is on fire.


So far Rob has the best one. That shit was funny.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Sep 19, 2007 10:49am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

yeah, Rob's got the Limerick Pulitzer hands on, err, i mean hands down easily.

this was fun though :)

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:06am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

i bow before your superior abilities

(that was a classic)

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Poster: William Tell Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:43am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

I give up!

Too good, too good...

Thanks.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:30am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

There once was a man named Tell
Who complained that Dire would yell
Well I say fuck you
You're nothing but poo
And you can just go to hell



(ok, that one was pretty pathetic)

:)

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Poster: William Tell Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:37am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Not bad, not bad...I was never any good at this, BUT, our friend Rob excels...suppose we could've guessed that.

What I love about the forum of late is that folks have come to embrace the flame posts, and that seems to have solved the problem if you follow...strange that ignoring them didn't work, but simply letting it go by responding as you would during a family squabble, or some such.

Or at least that is what it appears to be.

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Poster: robthewordsmith Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:49am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

A comical lad name of Dire
Discovered his pants were on fire
He said I can cope
I’m just smokin’ some dope
And with that he sucked in and got higher

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:09am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

On the forum there's a silly ol' Scot
His limericks are second to naught
Its too bad that his weenie
Is so incredibly teenie
In his zipper its permanently caught



(ok, so that is another bad one)

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Poster: robthewordsmith Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:27am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Teenie is it?

The Scots it is said don’t like flossing
They find cleanliness quite unengrossing
But the girls take delight
At the incredible sight
Of a Scot when his caber he’s tossing

(yours did make me laugh though - excellent!)

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Poster: robthewordsmith Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:23am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go
A flame war he started
But then when he farted
It lit with a flash – goodbye Joe!

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Poster: Max Chorak Date: Sep 19, 2007 11:07pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Wow. Just wow. amazing display :]


I haven't giggled that much in a while. You are one creative bastard, i envy you

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:39am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

excellent!!!

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Sep 19, 2007 7:19am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go
He rants and he cries
'Cause his dick will not rise
Even when stroking it slow

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Sep 19, 2007 7:21am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

Why am I not surprised that you would play the "Boxing the Bishop" card.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Sep 19, 2007 7:25am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

well, it IS a limerick, and I have a reputation to live up to (as sullied as it is)

:)

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Poster: Administrator, Curator, or StaffNoiseCollector Date: Sep 19, 2007 7:32am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

You will never stop smart people from infiltating your blessed circle of life, even if it is the same people with different names.

Sabbathhook rules.

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Poster: latebutdeadicated Date: Sep 19, 2007 7:50am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: NOISE

NC,

Come on, you should at least post a limerick to reply here.



This post was modified by latebutdeadicated on 2007-09-19 14:50:38

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Sep 19, 2007 7:39am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

My posts are so lame
They all sound the same
And with my head up my ass
They soon come to pass
And are often seen as quite tame

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Poster: Administrator, Curator, or StaffNoiseCollector Date: Sep 19, 2007 7:47am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

There once was a man named 2
Who came in to grok with you
You turned him away and now he turned gay
And now his brown eye is blue

There once was a man name joe
He was just average though
He posted a thread in the forum of dead
Now where the hell did he go?

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Sep 19, 2007 7:52am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

First one: outstanding

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Poster: Administrator, Curator, or StaffNoiseCollector Date: Sep 19, 2007 7:57am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

Thanks, sorry for the next one!

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Poster: Max Chorak Date: Sep 19, 2007 10:54pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

LOL.

that first one is hilarious........

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Poster: Administrator, Curator, or StaffNoiseCollector Date: Sep 19, 2007 7:52am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

There once was chap named darkhollow
Who preferred not to spit and did swallow
He sure loved the dead, but still wets the bed
Now that is a rhyme we can follow.

There once was a man name not wealthy
Rich was his first name in deed
He smoked to much weed to stay healthy
And indica grew where he peed.

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Poster: latebutdeadicated Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:19am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: indica

"and indica grew where he peed."

LMFAO

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:08am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

I am the dude called Dark Hollow
I must choose to lead and not follow
For the retards who seek
To make fun of this geek
Please use a rhryme other than swallow

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:25am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

On the forum there's a bloke named DarkHollow
Before his computer he simply sits just to wallow
He just sits there saying wow
Jealous of Dire and his cow
And listening to the songs of the Swallow


(sorry, just couldnt think of another rhyme off the top of me head - atleast a different meaning though)

:)

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:32am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

There was a Deadhead name Wolf
Who some said was a tad bit aloof
But I know him as kind
Just ask his favorite bovine
Whom he blows at night on his roof

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Poster: Robony Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:19am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

There once was a man name 2...
There once was another man 2...
There was one name belski...
and maybe richbutnotwealthy...
I just can't tell who-the-f**ks who.

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Poster: robthewordsmith Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:18am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

A curious man called collector
Was possessed of a bullshit detector
It worked after a fashion
And sated his passion
For the lesser-known works of Phil Spector

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Poster: William Tell Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:22am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

Damn...my efforts pale; never was any good at this.

Hey Rob--it is COLD in your neck of the woods, eh?

Finally below 80F at night around here...whewww...

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:07am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go
He liked to rant and poke fun
Around the house naked he would run
And get himself arrested at the nudie show.

All my posts are so lame
It really is a shame
I want to be friends with Somedarkhollow
And watch Stealz jizz he would swallow
And join in their S & M game.


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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:18am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

My rhyme you refer to above
Was not an eagle, but dove
For you see, it was directed at me
So perhaps you should just Smell The Glove


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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:38am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: averagejoe defeats kimock in death match

And this rhyme is below
In bad taste it will go
I just wonder of the glove
Is it filled with your love
If not, like Homer I say DOH!!!

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:53am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: NOISE

There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go
He met a bloke named latebutdeadicated
By the ladies he was hated
You can't learn a fool what he don't want to know.


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Poster: latebutdeadicated Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:16am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: NOISE

There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go
Poked some fun at a dude named late
Who cared not as he's blessed by fate
Poor Joe, must now reep what you sew

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:31am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: NOISE

There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go
Yes he had some fun with Late
Who thought sucking dick was grate
He would do it for five bucks a throw.

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Poster: latebutdeadicated Date: Sep 19, 2007 9:40am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: NOISE

There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go
Seems obsessed with dick
Can't find a love to give his a lick
Truth hurts, don't it bro

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 11:01am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: NOISE

There is this average joe
Who has no better place to go
Told by Late to take it in stride
Now we play with the salami we hide
Come on, you know you a ho.

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Poster: latebutdeadicated Date: Sep 19, 2007 11:25am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: NOISE

Hi ho, hi ho, so now I am the ho
We'll see about that sir avg joe
Lets try and opine
On matters more sublime
and drag this exchange from 'neath the flo

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 12:05pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: NOISE

Yes I agree. I have run out of rhymes for joe and go. Let's get back to discussions about Black Sabbath.

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Poster: SomeDarkHollow Date: Sep 19, 2007 6:58am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go
So he went to the forum
Where folks tried to ignore him
Cause any conflict they are trying to slow

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Poster: tank_tuba Date: Sep 19, 2007 8:45am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: I need help with a limerick

There once was this average joe
Who had no better place to go
Until he met all these fools
Who suck their own tools
But it's dire's knob they want to blow.



I get the feeling we could do this all day. I will try and be less combative though.